She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
