That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
