By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
