Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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