I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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