We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize