I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
