I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
