I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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