My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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