I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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