When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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