I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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