Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
