4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
