why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
