let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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