i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
nutella sex= disaster
I love having hate sex.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
