i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
