Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
