he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
