So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
