My nipple is on Facebook.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Even my vagina gasped.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
