Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
