I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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