So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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