A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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