Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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