I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize