There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
