But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
