but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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