I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize