i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
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just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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