remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
