Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
