I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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