White coat. Heels.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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