Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
