Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
