HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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