your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
