I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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