Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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