You work out of a Hotel?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
