just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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