did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
