My first STD was from a foam party
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
