tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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