do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
