White coat. Heels.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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