so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
