Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
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He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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