Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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