I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just had sex on a roof
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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