week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
