If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
