Even the bartender felt bad for me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I need to calm my uterus...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
