But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
