Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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