Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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