I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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