So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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