Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
