I just made out with a guy for $7.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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