At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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