I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
