I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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