..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
