matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
